I was browsing the New York Times and saw this piece which has apparently been garnering a lot of attention about a married man and woman (not to each other) who fell in love with each other and left their respective spouses to be together...and then announced the story in a rather narcissistic fashion in the NY Times "Vows" section. (Read the original article here: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/19/fashion/weddings/19vows.html)
The article itself is clearly a self-serving, propaganda piece put together by the couple and aided by NY Times in a disappointing and uncharacteristic move. But it's been very interesting for me to read it and read the responses to it. Particularly, I was intrigued (read: appalled) in this whole notion that they "couldn't help themselves" because they were "soulmates"...after all "you can't help who you love"...blah blah blah. Bollocks...bollocks, I say!!
Marriage is a choice...you choose to commit your life to another person and then you reaffirm that choice every day by choosing NOT to cheat on your vows. Yes, temptation lies at every corner. And yes, one can choose to give in to them. But to somehow imply that there was no choice involved, that cheating wasn't cheating because you were under the control of an irresistable urge/love is simply denying responsibility. It's as if a 5th grader were to cheat on a test and when asked why by the teacher he were to say - "well, Teach, I didn't mean to cheat, really I didn't. But I just couldn't help myself. The perfect cheating manual came across my path and it was really just so wonderful and perfect for me, how could I not use it?"
It is not wrong to be attracted to someone when you shouldn't be...that's innate biology and chemistry. I mean, I'm attracted to Johnny Depp at some level and even I know that that's just plain wrong :-) But I choose to suppress and deny (!) that attraction completely and totally. It's the only responsible and smart thing to do!
Oh well...in the end, who am I to judge Riddell/Patilla's choice...their life...their decision...their idiocy. After all...some might say what they did is incredibly brave...they're both trusting their hearts to known cheaters!
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